The new normal

That’s what I’m trying to find right now… our new normal.

Jason went back to work yesterday and the day went ok, despite me feeling quite anxious about it. Its very strange. I don’t recall ever feeling this anxious about being alone with the kids, but this time I do. Part of it is that I haven’t done childcare on my own for a MONTH! Yeah, that long. I figured it out… I stayed a week at my Mom’s while J was out of the town, had the baby that weekend, then J stayed home for 3 weeks. It feels a little strange now to be the only adult at home during the day. But we’ll figure it out. I always have in the past and I will this time too.

I’ve been struggling with muscle tension and headaches. I think its mostly due to lack of sleep, but also holding this new little creature and muscles that haven’t been used much getting some use. Feeling under the weather does not help my emotional state, which swings all over the place each day. At least one cry a day is typical, as is feeling like everything is fine one moment and then wishing I could hide under a rock the next.

Henry is a good little baby. Not much of a fusser, though he grunts and squeaks a lot at night which makes it hard for me to sleep. He nurses like a champ and today the midwife weighed him and he’s already up to 9.5 lbs! That’s a 2.5lb gain in two weeks. He already looks so much older.

Yesterday I started up lessons with the kids. Originally I wasn’t going to do that until next week but I kinda thought the kids needed something to do. They have been massively bored the past couple weeks. Though our day went pretty good, I feel a little discouraged. Gwen is resistant to my teaching her. I’m hoping that this will ease after we do this for a while. I worry though that homeschooling just isn’t the most effective method for her. Ethan thrives with it and loves doing schoolwork. Gwen has a very different learning style and I don’t know if the problem is that she feels she needs to impress me or she’s scared of failing in front of me or what. Hopefully time and routine will resolve the problem.

On Sunday we took the kids to the park to play for a bit. Here are some pics we took.

 

 

Gwen’s favorite pose… the “princess pose”

 

Elsa’s attempt at a princess pose… I think Gwen needs to work with her a little!

Attempts at a group kid shot. Not perfect but pretty cute. Can 6 year old boys smile normally? I don’t think so!