Saturday, April 29, 2006

Holy cow, was it really Tuesday when I blogged last? Sheesh.

Things have been craaa-zy.

Thursday we went out to Mom's for a get-together with Dad's side of the family. My Aunt Kathy and Aunt Barb were out here from Iowa and NY, respectively. It was really good to see them... they are lots of fun! Grandma Betty was there (looking chipper) and Aunt Wendy and her great kids as well. Also in attendance was my cousin Charlie and his lovely girlfriend (she had wondrous red hair. I've always wanted red hair). We had good food and good times. We were there from about 2 - 8. The kids were just dead when we got home. We had to pour them into their bath and they slept like rocks.

Before we had gone to my Mom's, we stopped at the library to drop off/pick up books. I had Gwen in the stroller and Ethan tagging along. We were at the hold shelf looking for my book and I turned for 2 seconds to grab the book. When I turned back, Ethan was gone! I assumed he'd gone to the kid area, but no, he wasn't there. I started panicking slightly, then I heard this "Mama Mama Mama!" cry. I followed it to the door, where I saw he'd gone all the way out into the foyer and was turning around and around calling me. Poor guy :(

After that, I felt he deserved some play time, so we hung out in the kids section and played with toys and a cute little boy named Allen (9 months). Allen was exactly Gwens size. That girl is just an elf compared to most children. Gwen was fascinated by his bald head and kept putting her hands on it and giggling. The little boy was very good natured and laughed along with it. Its funny what you notice... Allen was wearing cloth diapers and therefore that made me more likely to believe that the Mom was breastfeeding and then I started wondering, "Hmmm, I wonder if I know this lady from the breastfeeding boards", but then I had to go before I could really talk to her as Ethan started throwing a fit.

Friday Mom came over, delivered some Costco items to me and babysat while I did some grocery shopping. I had to pick up some migraine meds (Maxalt) and was surprised that a 30 tablet supply cost $75! Yipes. However, these are only taken when I have a bad migraine, so hopefully they'll last me a year or more.

Today, well today, has been the busiest by far.

It started quite awfully by waking up and finding that Toby had diarrhea all over our floor and rug. So at 6am, I was cleaning up poop and using my carpet cleaner. After the kids went down for nap, J and I did some work on the yard... filling in holes, trying to make the gate area escape-proof, etc. While we were doing this, the dogs had to be inside and Toby had another occurrence. Ugh. This time there was lots on the carpet. So, I spent another hour cleaning the floors and carpet cleaning. The smell was dreadful.

Aaron came at 11 and mowed, weedwhacked, scooped and helped Jason fix the dog kennel. It started raining while they were working on the kennel and the guys (and Ethan who was helping) got soaked! They also tracked in lot o' mud.

While they were doing that, I was watching the kids and packing up items. I packed 10 boxes of toys, books, dvds, video game stuff and other assorted from the first room. My goal is to do 5-10 boxes a day until we're at a bare minimum for what we need.

Jason took Aaron home and I put the kids to nap and then swept, mopped and did a load of dishes. At least the house is fairly clean.

We've called Becki's friend to set a time for him to come out and do the trim on the floors, and we'll be getting a quote for someone to fix the bathroom floor. We have other various tasks that need to be done before we go on the market, but for me, I will feel a lot better when most the extra stuff is packed up and we're ready to move. It feels like its happening so fast, but J and I tend to put things off and we decided that it just needed to be done. And before it got hot out.

Anyway, no more typing for me. I want to go enjoy the couple hours of freedom and relaxation I have.

Au revoir mes amis!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Today, wee Gwennie-pooh is 1! Wow.

A look back...

I've uploaded some new video. Check it out by clicking on the link to the right.

Well, I worked my tooshie off today getting the house cleaned and the agent had to reschedule till tomorrow. Oh well, at least it will mean less work tomorrow.

Something gave me a dreadful headache. It was like a drill boring into my left temple. I could have just cried and cried from the agony. Luckily, I was able to fall asleep while the kids took their second nap and when I woke up, blessedly, it was gone.

Monday, April 24, 2006

It has begun.

Summer is on its way, and we are filled with dread and loathing.

Today it was warm, but because our house holds heat in a way that is nearly unearthly, it was broiling. I refused to bring out my fans in April because surely nature is not such a cruel mistress that she would curse us with high temps for more than an occasional day this early in the year.

We must, we must be out of this house this year, preferably before summer, or I will go crazy!

Anyway, we didn't do much today. Everyone is feeling much improved, but still finishing up on the colds. After nap, we walked the 1-mile route around the neighborhood. It was nice to be exercising again.

Tomorrow a real estate agent is coming to meet with us to talk various things. This means that I must get the house, or at least the main viewable areas, clean. Not looking forward to it, but it must be done and the best way to motivate me is the horror that someone other than my closest family members (i.e. Mom or siblings) will see how messy I let things get and think badly of me. I inherited this "clean for guests" gene from my Mother. Despite how us kids hated it when Mom would go into one of her flurries before guests arrived, and no matter how we swore we'd never be that way... well, we ARE that way. At least Becki and I are and its just a matter of time before the others fall to it as well :)

Tomorrow is also, *sniff* Gwennies first birthday. J and I were thinking back... I can remember exactly what I was doing the day before she was born, what I was wearing, what I was thinking. It doesn't seem like that long ago, and yet it feels like a lifetime ago.

Her birthday will also be a big personal milestone for me... it will mean that I'm officially an "extended nurser", meaning I'm nursing a child older than 1 year. I have no plans of stopping breastfeeding and if all goes well, Gwen will self-wean at whatever time she is physically and emotionally ready. I'm proud to have made it this far, and wish I could have done the same with Ethan.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

I took some very cute pictures of Gwen today...

(blowing a kiss)

Today the kids and I are feeling a bit better. Still sickly, but on the mend. Jason seems to be fighting the cold fairly well. He has some symptoms, but isn't suffering as badly as we did.

The day was sunny and warmish. I wish our summers could be like this. 67, cool breeze. Poifect.
The kids and J played outside while I cleaned out my car and vacuumed it. Looks SO much better.

I haven't mentioned it before, but Gwen can say all sorts of words. Remote, Tilli, bottle, dog, and many others. Ethans vocabulary too, has been exploding. Just tonight we were watching The Simpsons and during the opening credits Ethan said, "Doh" right when Homer does. Jason and I couldn't believe it! Jason is not so thrilled with another thing Ethan has picked up. I call Jason "J" quite often. Well, Ethan has started to call him "J" as well, especially when he wants to get attention. It makes me giggle, but Jason hates it :)

Saturday, April 22, 2006

I've just heard about a woman who was told to leave a Fred Meyer in Oregon because 3 people found her breastfeeding her infant "indecent".

You can read the whole story here, on her blog, Reluctant Lactivist.

You can also see what the mother is asking Fred Meyer to do and how to contact them here.

I sent them a nice letter since I shop there a ton and have also breastfed in their stores. Maybe we'll have to do a nurse-in, hmm?

We went to a park today and the kids had a great time. Besides that, we didn't do much. We're all still fighting with the colds, but I think the kids and I are starting to come out of it just a bit.
Well, we are all sick now, minus Jason who so far has been able to avoid it. He's getting the sniffles though, so it may not be long for him. The kids are miserable, and therefore we are miserable. Fun!

We don't have much planned this weekend. In fact, we have nothing planned which is rather nice. The last two weekends have been very busy and we just need some down time.

Already this morning I have cleaned up the house, swept, mopped and done some dishes. I'm going to start my dinner too (Beef braised in Barolo) so that I don't have to worry about it later in the day when everyone feels worse and tired. That work just about took everything out of me. This cold is settled in the chest, so its hard to breathe and I'm coughing a lot. Urg. The only two things I have left to accomplish this weekend is laundry wrangling and cleaning out my car, which, as was so nicely pointed out by my Mother and Uncle Shawn, smells like rotten food and dog. So yeah, its time to clean it out :D

Speaking of my Uncle Shawn, we saw him on Thursday. He was down here to pick up a puppy, then will be driving back up to Alaska. Good to seem him, as always. I missed Jenny though! His pup is an adorable little Chesapeake Bay Retriever named Shadow. Oh, she was the cutest thing EVER. I have puppy envy of the worst kind. Cannot wait until my parents get a new puppy so that I may have my puppy fix with none of the puppy troubles. Jason has forbidden me to even think about another dog and he's completely correct. But ooooooohhh, they are so indescribably adorable.

Watched two movies... Fun with Dick and Jane (with Jim Carey, twas funny) and Children of Heaven (an Iranian film, cute as well).

I'm becoming rather addicted to Netflix. We are finishing up on our second week of membership and I've seen something like 5 or 6 movies. Doesn't hurt that there is generally a one day turnaround, so there is always something in mail.

The weather looks nice today, so perhaps we'll go to the park, even with sick kidlets.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I'm sick. Ick. Very sore throat, watery eyes, runny nose, cough, congested head. Oh WHEN will Jason and I get out of this physical ailment funk?

I remembered last night that there were some things I wanted to blog about. Excuse the randomness of the following items, but I have to get it out there before I forget again.

For my female readers, I would like to recommend two items (men, you may not want to click on the first link. Its for "girl" stuff:
I love this thing and its a real money saver.
As many of you know, I'm cursed with very white skin (though not as white as my sister Michelle, who practically glows in the dark). I've always hated wearing shorts or skirts because I'm SO white. I heard about this stuff and its awesome. Yes, its basically makeup for your legs, but it makes them look so good.

Another recommendation, this time for a movie. Chocolat. Its really good and I'm so glad I saw it.

Ethan's cutest word right now is "sure". He says it to almost any question you ask him. He says it like, "shoo". Oh, you just have to hear him. Adorable.

Also, Grandpa (otherwise known as Poppa). Ethan is still enchanted with that drawing you made on his arm at Easter. Every time he looks at it, he says, "Poppa! Silly!". I even caught him saying it on video. I'll upload that in the next day or so.

So I had yet another knitting disaster. This toddler poncho will be the death of me. I was using a pattern I got from a friend and it was coming together perfectly. Except when it came time to make the neck opening something didn't go right. The opening was all on one side instead of in the middle and my needles got all strangely tangled. I appealed for help and found out that the pattern was incorrectly copied to me. All that work and I had to start over. Will I ever complete this darn thing? Heavens.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

So much to write about, so little energy to share it.

Easter was fun... The kids had a blast finding eggs and socializing with family. We attended church in the morning, then came home (to find that Tilli had opened up all our plastic eggs and eaten their contents, including some confetti things), jetted off to the store to refill the eggs then over to my Moms. Loooong day.

Monday we met with Kate (a former co-worker of mine) at Alderwood for coffee, then headed over to this play area. It was really cool... there were things to climb on and slide down and crawl through and everything was health related, as it is sponsored by UW Health. What really cracks me up is that Ethan and Gwen were hugely attracted to one playset in particular... the fruits and veggie one! There was a celery slide, a pile of grapes, peas and mushrooms to climb up and other fruits and veg to crawl over and through. So very cute. I have lots of pictures. I'll put them up tomorrow.

Today I tried (with mostly futility) to clean up a bit. It was sunny, so the kids and I went outside and sat in the grass. That was nice.

My throat is sore and I think I'm coming down with something. I'm sleeping like crap. Dead tired when I go to bed, waking at night and can't go back to sleep, then dead tired in the mornings. Ugh. Oh well, this too shall pass.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Feeling a bit better today. Jason and I cleaned the house, which really helped both our moods.

Had another bad headache which required Vicodin. Even that didn't kill it, but it made it manageable.

Tomorrow is Easter and we have a VERY busy day planned. Church, then quickly home, then directly to Mom's so I can slice my ham, then Easter festivities. The current schedule does not allow for any naps for the kids. This could be bad :) Oh well, it happens.

I'm excited about the kids getting all dressed up again. Just wish the weather was better.

I finished up two ponchos (matching ones for two sisters) but somehow made the toddler poncho's neck opening far too small. In fact, the infant one had a bigger opening. I do not know how this happened. I tried to put it on Ethan and it just wouldn't fit over the head. Sigh. So, I'm off to redo the toddler one and hopefully get these shipped out. These ponchos have really been tough for me this time around!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I'm going back to my full dose of Zoloft.

It turns out that I am not in a place where I should be cutting back.

Suffice to say, today has been extremely rough and trying. I think I cried off and on the entire day.
Pics from the park the other day

Gosh, can you tell these two are related? They have the same facial expressions! We call this one, "The Serious Stare". They were watching some older kids play on the slide.

The rare Ethan smile caught on camera. I tricked him into it by saying, "Naughty Tilli" which always makes him laugh.

A more common Ethan expression. I can so forsee this look being given to me when he's 13.

Watching her brother at the bottom of the slide

Checking out some kids playing

Wanted to post this for my own information, but also for all my readers as its a super simple and delicious chicken and potato recipe.

Crisp-Skin High-Roast Butterflied Chicken with Potatoes
If you prefer not to brine, use a kosher chicken - it is salted and has a taste and texture similar to a brined bird. For extracrisp skin, after applying the flavored butter (if using -- see related recipes), let the chicken dry uncovered in the refrigerator 8 to 24 hours. Russet potatoes have the best potato flavor, but Yukon Golds have beautiful color and better retain their shape after cooking. Either works well in this recipe. A food processor makes quick and easy work of slicing the potatoes.

Serves 4
1 cup kosher salt (or 1/2 cup table salt), for brine
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 whole chicken , 3 1/2 to 4 lbs, preferably free-range or other high-quality chicken such as Bell and Evans, giblets removed and reserved for another use, fat around cavity removed and discarded
Flavored Butter (see recipe following)
2 1/2 pounds russet potatoes (4 to 5 medium), or Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled and sliced 1/8 to 1/4 inch thick
Vegetable cooking spray (nonstick)
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
3/4 teaspoon table salt (for potatoes)
Ground black pepper

1. Dissolve salt and sugar in 2 quarts cold water in large container. Immerse chicken and refrigerate until fully seasoned, about 1 hour. Meanwhile, adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 500 degrees. Line bottom of broiler pan with foil and spray with nonstick vegetable cooking spray. Remove chicken from brine and rinse thoroughly under cold running water. Butterfly chicken by removing backbone with knife or kitchen shears, flip bird over and apply pressure to breastbone to flatten, apply flavored butter under skin of breast, thigh and leg, and position chicken on broiler pan rack; thoroughly pat dry with paper towels.

2. Toss potatoes with 1 tablespoon oil, salt, and pepper to taste in medium bowl. Spread potatoes in even layer in foil-lined broiler pan bottom. Place broiler pan rack with chicken on top. Rub chicken with remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons oil and sprinkle with pepper.

3. Roast chicken until spotty brown, about 20 minutes. Rotate pan and continue to roast until skin has crisped and turned a deep brown and an instant-read thermometer registers 160 degrees in thickest part of breast, 20 to 25 minutes longer. Transfer chicken to cutting board. With potholders, remove broiler pan rack; soak up excess grease from potatoes with several sheets paper towels. Remove foil liner with potatoes from broiler pan bottom and invert foil and potatoes onto cookie sheet or second cutting board. Carefully peel back foil, using a metal spatula to help scrape potatoes off foil as needed. With additional paper towels, pat off remaining grease. Cut chicken into serving pieces and serve with potatoes.

Mustard-Garlic Butter with Thyme
This makes a great flavored butter for our Crisp-Skin High-Roast Butterflied Chicken with Potatoes

Makes about 3 tablespoons
2 tablespoons unsalted butter , softened
1 medium clove garlic , pressed through garlic press
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
1 teaspoon minced fresh thyme leaves
Ground black pepper

In a small bowl, mash together all ingredients, including black pepper to taste.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I'm too horrendously tired to write any niceties about my day so I will summarize briefly:

  • Jason hurt his back almost a week ago and its been really painful so he went to the doctor today and everything is fine, but he has to take lots of drugs to kill the pain.
  • The house is messy and I have zero motivation to do a thing about it
  • I've halved my Zoloft dose and will probably stop it when this prescription is up. Our insurance coverage changed so I'm paying something like 3x as much now for it. Don't know if its related, but since cutting the dose I'm super tired. Like nap in the middle of the day type tired.
  • Tomorrow, I'm hoping to escape to my Mom's and further ignore housework.
  • Our one remaining working toilet is broken so every time we need to flush we have to lift off the lid and manually move the handle, which is a pain, especially at like 2am. Hopefully I will be able to get the part I need tomorrow to fix it.
  • I said I would post pics from the park today, but I'm totally going back on my word about that
  • We signed up with Netflix (or re-signed up I should say) and I've been watching scads of movies. Just watched Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe (good!), Memoirs of a Geisha (eh) and an oldy, Last of the Mohicans (surprisingly bad). I got the Mohicans one because I've been reading a series of books that continue on with the story from the original.

    Nearly everything on my movie list is foreign or independent or documentary and all for me. If anyone has movie suggestions (particularly ones that Jason would watch with me), please leave me a comment with the names
Ok, off to bed.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

We went to the park today and I took lots of good pics. Since I've already posted so many today though, I'll wait until tomorrow to put them up.

Mom, your gift came today. The kids love it! I have a picture of when Gwen first saw it and her face was just so excited. Too cute. Thanks :)

Not much else to say. For those in the know, the pain I was having has gone away thank goodness. I had to take a Vicodin today for a throbbing headache that wasn't killed by anything else. Finally I got fed up and took the heavy stuff and that seems to have done the trick. As long as I don't take Vicodin or Percoset before bed, its ok. But for some reason, that stuff will do crazy things when I'm sleeping. I feel like I'm asleep but I'm awake, or I have strange dreams. But during the day it doesn't seem to affect me at all negatively. Anyway, I'm rambling.

Tantrum: A Pictorial

Thought you might like to see a Gwennie tantrum...

First, the offense.

Look at her, pretending to be all innocent, "What? I shouldn't be touching this?"

"Mom, surely you jest! You don't mean it!"

"Mooooom! You are so mean! I can't believe you moved me all the way over here"

"Ohhhh, I hate you! Mean Mommy! Look at how miserable I am and its all your fault"

(this was like less than a minute after the picture above)

"Hey, look at me! My little act is over and I'm showing off my new trick"

I hope you enjoyed her little tantrum more than I did :)
Ok, here are the pictures from the birthday. We actually didn't get that many... for once we were more focused on video, and with so much going on it was hard to get the kids still and find a good angle to shoot :)

The only picture of Ethan with his clothes on that we got the entire day :)

Gwennie in her princess dress. And yes, I did match E & G. And yes, I'm a dork.

Can you tell she's a breastfed baby?

She loved the table we got for the kids... as you can see her shoes and socks soon came off and she was climbing like crazy!

Cake. Mmmm.

Look how neatly and politely Ethan is eating. He never eats like this for us!

These are from Sunday. Aunt Becki called and Ethan talked to her for a good bit. He loves to hold the phone and walk around, or lay down and talk. He's naturally born to talk a persons ear off... comes by it genetically :)

Gwen is happy just sitting on brother until he complains.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

What. A. Weekend.

It was full from beginning to end.

Friday night, Becki came and babysat the kids while J and I went to a Mariners game. We had a good time (I had Dixie's BBQ for the first time and it was num), but the Mariners played badly (only two hits the whole time) and we ended up leaving at the top of the 7th. They went on to lose without scoring a single run!

Saturday was party day! We had a jam-packed house to celebrate Ethan's 2nd and Gwen's 1st. They got so so so many awesome gifts. I can't even start to name them all, but they are all loved :) Ethan had a great time after gifts, rough housing with Ben his 5 year old second cousin. He rarely gets to play with kids his own age and very much enjoyed the play.

Today we ended up going to Bellevue to bring Ethan to the doctor. He's had that stye for nearly 3 weeks now. I called the nurse line which is open 24/7. I got a call back and they said that all he needed was some antibiotic eye cream. They offered to see him today at their Bellevue office, so we figured why not?

Well, we saw a rather dismal doctor who Ethan did not like at all. The doctor gave us a referral to a opthomologist? When we asked why we weren't being given an eye cream (as their very website and nurse told us we would), he said that sometimes they do that, but sometimes they recommend seeing an eye doctor. He didn't elaborate as to why we would be one of the latter. I was so irritated. We drove all that way to see a stupid doctor who, instead of doing the logical and easy thing, gave us a referral? Ugh.

When we came home, I did some more looking online for information on sties and found a most common one to be applying heat, then pulling out the eyelash where the infection has started (since sties are infections of the eyelash pores). Well, we tried this and did not see any immediate results, but hopefully there will be some improvement tomorrow. If not, I'm going to call Ethan's regular doctor and tell her the story and see if she'll just prescribe an eye cream over the phone. If not, then I'll haul the kids down to Kirkland and re-do the dance.

Anyway, I'm still irritated about it, but it happens I suppose.

We have Chronicles of Narnia and am watching it right now so I'll stop now.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Guess what? Guess... guess... guess...

Gwennie took her first steps tonight. Woo hoo! Jason and I try to get her walking between us but up till now she hasn't been willing to do it without holding our hands. But she took two steps, then a few more later in the night without us. You can see that with every step she gets more confident. After the first one, she looked downright skilled with her other two. I'm so glad! I told her that she is now in strict training 24/7 until Saturday so she can be toddling by then. I want her walking so as not to dirty her dress ;)

Mom came today and took the kids. Twas so nice. I went to Costco, then came home to drop off stuff, then went out to Fred Meyer and the party store. Loaded up on everything we will need for this weekend.

I came home, unloaded everything, took a short break then dove into some cleaning. I got the kids room all spiffed up... dusted, vacuumed, the clothes that were too small taken out, etc. Then I dusted and cleaned our living room ceiling fan (filthy!) and dusted the rest of the house and swept. I also did two loads of dishes.

Jasons birthday was today and I had made him some cookies yesterday. I told him that the dogs had eaten them, but really I had stashed them in the freezer as a surprise. I left a note on the doorknob telling him to look in the freezer. I specifically told him that I had locked the doors up and that he didn't need to do it (so that he wouldn't see the note) but he saw it anyway and woke me up at like 11pm to say, "Hey, I saw the note, thanks!". I was so bummed that he saw it too soon!

Anyway, the kids made him a drawing with crayons and stickers. It was really cute. Their first joint effort. It had some trouble spots... namely Gwennie ripping it and Ethan getting all huffy about it, but it came together well.

Early this morning, Ethan and I called Daddy and left a message on his cell phone singing happy birthday. Ethan has started singing now and then and its real sweet.

For J's birthday dinner, we had huge porterhouse steaks, grilled zuchinni, grilled butter lettuce salad with shaved parm and tiramisu from Costco for dessert. We are STUFFED. Oy.

While I was out grilling, I tripped on a shovel and smashed into the house, getting a very nasty scrape on my arm and busting my toe open. I hit hard enough that I actually feel sore from it. Ugh. Just what I want... a big old nasty scrape on my arm and a hurt foot. Poo.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Have been far too weary at night to blog much lately.

The kids are full of life and growth and every day keep me on my toes.

Ethans vocabulary has expanded dramatically. He's started putting numerous words together, and every day he comes out with a new phrase that takes us by surprise. Physically, he's rough and tumble and covered with bruises because of it! Just tonight he was being a ham and dancing around... You may remember that his dancing consists of turning in circles. He was sooooo dizzy but he kept doing it because we were laughing. He is always trying to do something funny.

I was talking to my Mom on the phone and Ethan wanted to chat. They spoke for a few minutes, then he hung up on her :) Aunt Jenni called back and wanted to talk to him and he did so, while climbing down off the couch, wandering around the living room and giving instruction, "Gwennie, no!" He looked so grown up with that phone tucked into his ear and pointing and waving about with his hands.

Gwen. Well, what can I say about my little bunny? She has an amazing sense of humor, she is Mommy-needy still, she adores her brother, she puts away an unbelievable amount of food. Her vocabulary has also been expanding. She says the regular things (Mama, Dada, Nana, etc), but will occasionally say a random word, like bottle or dog or hi. We've been working on her walking and she is very close. I don't know if she's going to make it before her birthday though. She lacks confidence to take those steps, but she does stand well.

I have the Easter/birthday outfits for the kids and they are A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E. They even match, which some might find cheesy, but I don't care. Part of the pleasure of being a parent is dressing them up however you darn well please and they can't protest ;)

Tomorrow Mom is coming out to pick up the kids and take them to her house for a few hours. I will be doing grocery shopping and hopefully get some serious cleaning work done. Have not felt motivated at all... even the threat of the birthday party this weekend doesn't seem to be getting me in gear.

Took a walk around the block today (1 mile) and have been lifting 5lb weights to get more tone in the arms. Its funny how even a day or two of moderate exercise can make a difference.

Jason will be 32 tomorrow!

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Grief and loss and sorrow are such strange emotions.

Its been hard for me to get Gabe's last few moments on earth out of my head. They especially come to me at night... Many times I replay the entire scene, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. Sad.

Jason came home yesterday around 4pm. We'd been home since about 10. Its always so stressful to come back after being gone. The house always feels different and you have to check the food to make sure its good and unpack and blah! The kids however have been sleeping well (i.e. they slept through the night!) so thats very nice.

Jason's mother is much improved by the way.

This upcoming week is full. I need to do some serious party planning, including the cakes, for the kids birthday this next weekend. Also, I'll probably have to take Ethan in for his stye which has improved but is not gone.

We went to a school today and let the kids play on the playground. They had a great time! There were three girls there around Jenni's age and he kept calling "Jenni" and then seeing it wasn't her :) He did go down the slides (even a really big one) all by himself which is a big step for him!