Grief and loss and sorrow are such strange emotions.

Its been hard for me to get Gabe's last few moments on earth out of my head. They especially come to me at night... Many times I replay the entire scene, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. Sad.

Jason came home yesterday around 4pm. We'd been home since about 10. Its always so stressful to come back after being gone. The house always feels different and you have to check the food to make sure its good and unpack and blah! The kids however have been sleeping well (i.e. they slept through the night!) so thats very nice.


Jason's mother is much improved by the way.

This upcoming week is full. I need to do some serious party planning, including the cakes, for the kids birthday this next weekend. Also, I'll probably have to take Ethan in for his stye which has improved but is not gone.

We went to a school today and let the kids play on the playground. They had a great time! There were three girls there around Jenni's age and he kept calling "Jenni" and then seeing it wasn't her :) He did go down the slides (even a really big one) all by himself which is a big step for him!