I'm a mess

For the last couple weeks I've been rolling something around in my brain and its stressing me out. I cannot find an answer that is satisfactory.

I made a pro-con list last night and both lists were even. One did not emerge the clear winner. This really is causing me all sorts of vexation and distress because its a topic that I've never felt any quibbles over in the past.

Added on top of that a very challenging time with Miss Elsa. She is waking up multiple times at night and barely napping during the day. When she wakes at night and I go to nurse her, she screams when there is any delay. I mean, full on tantrum. If my shirt isn't unbuttoned or lifted fast enough, screams. When I have to switch sides, screams. When I fumble around finding her pacifier, screams. I've never had a child react as strongly and immediately like she does and it makes me so frustrated. This always wakes up someone else too, which puts them in a bad mood as well.

I just feel all over the place over everything. Today and tomorrow I need to focus on getting some clarity and direction because school starts up and we have to ride a pretty tight schedule to get everyone out of the house on time. For the past, well, nearly a month, Jason has been home almost every morning and that's made us very lazy and distracted in the mornings.

On a brighter note, Elsa is getting closer to crawling. J thinks it will happen this month and I think he may be right.