Friday, October 12, 2007

Today is our 5th wedding anniversary. Yay for us! :)

I'm feeling so depressed right now. Well, I'm actually on the upswing, but the past week has been very very rough. Michelle, I'm sorry I haven't returned your calls. We will call you, I just haven't felt like talking to anyone.

Physical weakness really gets me down after awhile. I don't know how much longer I can take the nausea and total exhaustion. My house is... is... a disaster. Its much worse than a disaster, but I can't think of a better word for it. I have clothes all over my entry. They are clean, but there is zero chance of them making it up the stairs, so every morning (or night, if we have to leave early in the morning), I sit in the pile and dig around to find outfits for everyone. If someone is dropping something off or stopping by, the clothes get thrown into baskets and placed on the window seat, only to be dumped out and dug around in that evening.

I hate that I have no drive or enthusiasm for cleaning or organizing. I haven't sewed for well over a month. It just feels like most the joy has been sucked out of things and now its plain old drudgery. Don't even get me started on how I don't want anyone to touch me for anything. I'm completely touched out. Jason, bless his heart, tries to encourage me by offering to help clean or whatever, especially on weekends, but the last thing I want to do is clean! I'd rather sleep, or read, or catch up on movies. And so the house remains messy and scattered.

Yesterday I spent most the day crying and that seemed to snap me upwards a level.

Anyway, on that completely downer note, I'll sign off as I have to go get Ethan inside so he doesn't soak himself with the hose.

1 comment:

Holly said...

*Hug*

Happy anniversary! I hope you get feeling back on your feet soon.