Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,I try to keep my mind on this verse when sorrow takes me over. I seem especially vulnerable in the evening hours. On the outer layer, I can take care of things, I can talk about it, I can be very logical. But then I think that it actually was my Grandpa who was laying in that bed and who took his last breath and that I will never ever feel his large warm hand on mine, or be given a bear hug, or be called "Miss Kris" and it catches me right in the chest.
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed. -Ps. 57:1-
Last night we had a get together with all the family. It was good to laugh and share memories. We shared tears too.
This morning I woke up at 2:20am. Exactly 24 hours after he died. I didn't get up... just stared at the clock, then went to sleep.
Jason, my wonderful, loving, caring Jason, got up early and brought home coffee and breakfast. Then, he let me sleep in and cleaned the kitchen thoroughly. When I got up at 9am (this is outrageously late for me), it was so nice to see part of the house in order.
Tonight Michelle and Michael joined us for dinner. They hadn't been able to make the get together yesterday and I thought they may like to be around family and share what was on their hearts. The kids were little hellions but we had a great dinner of ribs (with espresso BBQ sauce made by yours truely), corn, watermelon and a peach cobbler for dessert. I like to stuff people with food in times of crisis :) I love my brother and sister. They have become such great adults.
The slideshow is coming along well. I've been stumped looking for a second song that seemed to fit, but tonight Mike and Shel led me to one that I think will work.