*sigh*

Long day, long week, long month!

Today was a busy day... we went out to Lowes and got some stuff to fix our fence and gate, I updated (sorry, I can't think of a better word for it) all the bushes by removing their dead flowers and did a bit more trimming of some trees that seem to be growing 2 feet a day.

After lunch and putting the kids down I made a quick "jaunt" up to Arlington. I say that somewhat sarcastically because it turned out to be much farther away then I suspected. In any case, I went up there because I made a request on Freecycle for old sheets, linens, tablecloths, etc to experiment with and maybe score some good pieces for clothing (pillowcases can make cute dresses for girls). I definitely got some good stuff, including one awesomely retro rainbow pillowcase which is going to make a kick-butt dress. Then I went to CraftStar and found some Bob the Builder and Thomas the Train fabric and a pattern for kids boxers and am going to make them into stuff for Ethan and Gwen. THEN I went to Safeway and did some grocery shopping. The whole ordeal took like 4 hours when I had thought it would take 2.

Since I was so late I had to fly once I got home. I immediately started on Jason's special dessert for tonight, Blackberry Hand Pies.

Once I had those going I started on dinner, Mom's Baked Fried Chicken served with mashed potatos.

While that was cooking we headed outside and scooped the lawn, picked up toys, moved some dirt and refilled our bird and squirrel feeders. We finally sat down to eat around 7:30 and right now is the only time I've sat for more than 10 min since 4:30. Whew.

I've been feeling down this week, and I know that tomorrow will be tough too. I miss my Grandpa. I miss him so much.

I did a silly thing and put the songs I used on his slide show on my mix CD I keep in the car. Every time I hear those songs,it feels like my insides get turned over. It still doesn't feel real. For a long time now I was feeling ok with it, but now I don't again. The last time I spoke to him and he spoke to me, the last time I held his hand, the last time I saw his eyes, gave him a hug, smelled his cologne and pipe tobacco. These moments play over and over in my head these last few days. As strange as it sounds, I don't think I ever expected him to die before me. He seemed so permanent.