Friday, June 23, 2006

We signed the papers today! As of Monday, the sale of this house will close and the day after that, we close on the new house. Yikes. Its really happening.

I am so stressed.

It just hit me like 3 hours ago. All I wanted to do was lay down and go to sleep, and after I'm done blogging, I might just do that. There is so much to be done, so many small details. Overwhelming.

My state of mind has not been good lately. Its been fuzzy and generally out of sorts. It has me worried that perhaps this PPD has morphed into something worse... like, I don't want to say mental illness, but perhaps so. Not the type where I'm shipped off to an asylum, but just where I cannot deal with reality. It seems more and more I want to ignore or numb out what is bothering me, even simple things like the kids whining or whatever. The fuse is just so short... instead of blowing up though, its internalized for however long. Eventually there is some sort of issue that sets me off and then I over-react to the extreme.

Anyway, even that last paragraph just shows how out of it I am lately. Not sure it makes any sense. Perhaps what I think is my mind falling apart is simply a tired Mommy of two toddlers preparing to move in like 5 days.

I shall stop the pointless rambling now and go to bed :)

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