I hope I did not offend anyone with my Dr. Phil letter thingy. It really sounded quite opinionated and harsh (as things usually do when I write while tired and cranky).

So, yesterday the funniest thing happened. I didn't think it was funny then, but now I do... Ethan has started counter clearing. He can get a whole hand up there and he just puts it up there and waves it back and forth, hoping to come up with something good. We've had many close calls (knives, pans, etc) and some broken items (espresso carafe, glasses). I had my cup of milk and vanilla flavor on the counter awaiting some espresso. I turned for a moment and heard a great splash. I turn back and Ethan is standing there, dumbstruck, hands out from his sides, milk flowing down over his head. Tee hee... Very funny. He just stood there in shock! There was sticky milk all over him, the floor, the cabinets. Irritating then, pretty funny now.

Today Jason didn't go to work, so we spent most the day out. By about 1 it was already very hot and the air in the house was heavy. We just needed to get out. So we went to ToysRUs. We wanted to find him one of those punching bag things (now called, 'bop bags', presumably because 'punch' is too violent) as well as a play broom (hoping he'd leave mine alone) and one of those workbench toys where you can hammer pegs through. Well, we found the punching thing, and a broom, but no luck on the workbench! They had complex ones with lights, sounds and pop-up characters, but I just wanted one of those plain old wood ones. No luck! The best we could find was this. He does love it! Jason and I lamented tho that we couldn't find the good old fashioned one we'd wanted. Why does everything need 100 batteries and flashing lights and sounds? Sheesh, do we sound old or what! :)

On our way home, Gwen and I went to Central Market, and Jason and Ethan went to the new Coldstone Creamery. Supposedly, Ethan really dug the ice cream. Big surprise!

I went to CM because I wanted to make sushi for dinner. Ok, before you get all, "Ick!" and, "Eeew!" on me, I made California rolls, which only have rice, the seaweed wrapper (which hardly has any taste), sesame seeds, cucumber, avocado and crab (cooked). I was inspired by a Good Eats episode. The recipe was easy and pretty good. I even got a super cool bamboo sushi roller. Fun stuff!

While we were at ToysRUs, they had a whole bunch of stuff on clearance. I picked up a swimsuit and outfit for Gwen. Alas, my little G is too skinny, even for a 0-3 month swimsuit! It falls right off! I am so bummed, because its really cute :( Its so big that its doubtful she'll fit it before summer is over. Sigh. Me and my skinny babies!

So, tomorrow we dash off to the church campout to visit and BBQ some dinner. Sunday, we all pack up and go our separate ways. Jason to San Fran, and me to Mom's. I suspect I'll sneak back here a few times to get my fast internet fix and do yardwork at least once, maybe twice. I am looking forward to the built in babysitting.

I'm back.

Got Ethans flu and am just now starting to feel human again, though I'm still having some aches from it. On the upside, not being able to eat or drink for a day or two, and then having limited appetite at best after that DOES help in the weight department. Lost nearly 7lbs!

Have lots of pics from Mom's house on Saturday and various others. Here ya go.

One of the few pics of me with Gwen!














Kinda mean, but Grandpa
sure loved to turn down the sprinkler so that Ethan would get close, then turn it on high and watch the reaction!














Ethan is bright white, just like me :D





















Ethan loves rocks














Is Gwendolyn a gamer in the making?














Just playing around...




















Oh, I may be on the Dr. Phil show! I had heard that they were looking for people to be on their show about 'breastfeeding in public' and so I sent in a quick note with my opinion on the matter, thinking nothing of it, other than I'd just get my opinion in there. Well, much to my total shock (and somewhat horror now), they responded and want me to send in some pics, and see if the taping date would fit my schedule. Obviously, they'll do pre-interviews and such to see if they even want me, but even this little bit of interest has terrified me! I guess my little note (ok, rant) was a little TOO eye catching. Yikes. Well, if they really want me, I'll go. Eek.

For your reading pleasure, I will include my note below. Now that I've read over it a few times, I see where I could have done better, but again, I wasn't really trying to impress... just get my opinion out there so they would know that there are people who feel strongly on the issue.

I feel that nursing in public is not only a woman’s right, but a child’s right. With so many health benefits to the mother and child, a true disservice is done when a child is not breastfed.

In nearly every culture other than ours, breastfeeding in public (even with the breasts fully exposed) is barely given a second look. It’s a true shame that the American culture and media has so jaded the minds of its citizens that we're unable to grasp and appreciate the non-sexual use of breasts.

Without a doubt, breastfeeding is the absolute healthiest thing you can do for your baby, and yet we terrify mothers into doing it in private, or make them go through complicated rituals of covering up, pumping, making excuses or, because it’s so much work, just staying home.

No one seems to have a problem with teenagers running around in skimpy clothing, leaving nothing to the imagination, but heaven forbid you see a bit of breast when a mother is nourishing her child! Why is it appropriate to accept the revealed flesh of a young woman (displaying it for sexual purposes) and not the flesh of a mother, who is displaying it (or rather it happens to be displayed... I've yet to know a mother to just throw it all out there) for a completely logical and useful reason?

Society, with some help from your friendly formula makers, has made breastfeeding outside the home (or even inside the home) seem complicated and arduous, when the exact opposite is true! I have two children under 2. I carry a small handbag, which, along with my normal purse items, holds two diapers, wipes, pacifier and snack. 99% of the time that is all I carry. I need no bibs, no bottles, no formula, no cold packs to keep the formula chilled, and no access to water. My daughter can be fed at a moments notice, anywhere, anytime.

It’s absolutely infuriating to listen to these prudish, uptight, uninformed, ignorant types talk about 'doing it in private', or 'just use the bathroom'. Well, when I see mothers feeding their children formula (which truly does belong in the bathroom, and down the toilet) in a filthy restroom, then I will be happy to reconsider. Until then, I will feed my child publicly and proudly. If a wee bit of breast is exposed in the process, people can look away, or look all they want. Breastfeeding is not about their comfort. It’s about the bonding and nourishment of my child, which they deserve even if we are outside the home.

I almost feel as if I shouldn't blog anymore until I'm in a better mood. It may sound like I'm crabby 24/7, but really, there are good stretches through the day where I'm happy, good-natured and playful. Unfortunately, those times don't stick out in my mind so much, and the unhappy stuff gets recorded here. But I assure you, I am happy and in a good mood a good amount of time :D

So, Ethan was up at 6 again. Jason left early for work and Ethan woke up right after he left. Tomorrow, I'm putting a fan in his room to create some white noise, and hopefully help him sleep longer. When he gets up that early, everyone suffers.

From the moment I got up, my vision was being wacky again. I took half a Labetalol to try and stop the headache I knew was coming, but it didn't work. The entire day it felt like a hot poker was stuck right behind my right eye. Nothing helped it. Luckily, it started easing off late this afternoon, and I feel almost normal now. What I would do for an effective pain-killer! I'm almost tempted to call Becki and see if she can get my OB to write me a prescription for Vicodin, since these Percosets just mess me up and my neurologist appointment won't be for a bit.

I started taking this herbal supplement called Fenugreek. Its supposedly very helpful for increasing milk supply. A side effect is that you smell like maple syrup. I kid you not. Its not the worst thing in the world to smell like at all, and maybe I'll be able to save on deodorant... just kidding ;) Seriously though, there is definitely the smell of maple syrup surrounding me. Mmmm... pancakes.

Today I ran back out to FM to exchange a pair of pants I bought the previous day. I accidentally picked up the wrong size. While I was there, I got Ethan two pair of jammies, since he's nearly grown out of his current stuff. I also got him the cutest little hat. Its a John Deere hat. I did not know this, but there is quite a bit of John Deere stuff for little boys! I probably wouldn't have gotten him a John Deere hat had there been others there, but since there weren't, and with all this sun Ethan needed protection, there ya go.

Here's a pic of him in one of his new jammies, and in the hat. Note that both are out of focus. That is because my little monkey-butt doesn't sit still for more than 1 second!





















Much to my dismay the two new sets of jammies just fit him now. They'll probably last another month or two at most. Good thing I got them on clearance! Its really hard for me to imagine him needing bigger than a 2T, but this kid is just growing like a weed!

It was scorching hot, so we had Tuna fish sammiches for dinner. My carrot cake is even better the day after :)

Oh, yesterday, my Dad stopped by and picked up all the crap that had been sitting in our garage for like forever. There is now a big empty space... which we can fill up with more junk ;)

During the days, I have all these public service announcement that I want to share with ya'll, but by the time it comes to write my blog, I'm too tired to do so. Here is the short version:

Baby Formula is scary. The marketing and manufacturing of it is scary. Seriously. After stumbling across information inadvertently, then doing some research, I will not give any kid of mine formula unless 100% absolutely necessary.

It is no ones business how many kids we have, and how close they are together. Do not assume that I'm 1) irresponsible or 2) stupid because my children are 13 months apart, OR because I plan on having more. For all my little complaints, having children is a whole lotta fun and if I want 15 of them (I don't, butjust saying), that's my own darn business. Since when did children become such a negative thing, and since when did strangers, or nearly strangers, think it ok to share their ignorant thoughts on the matter with me?

Ah hem, that is all.

Ethan tried to wake us up at 4am, much to our dismay. I decided I could not deal with getting up this early, so I went in there, made sure his diaper was ok, gave the bink, restarted the music and left. He cried for about 30 seconds and then, much to our surprise, he went back to sleep (and slept till 8!). Thank you Jesus! Of course, then Gwen was awake for a feeding, but she is easy to settle down :)

I felt like making a carrot cake today, which is strange because I'm not generally a big fan of carrot cake. But for some reason, the thought of a carrot cake with ice cold cream cheese frosting sounded very good. The cake was a little sunken in the middle... not sure why that is. I may have over-blended it, since this recipe calls for using a food processor to mix the batter.

Jason came home early today, since he'll be working tomorrow. As soon as he got home, I took off for the store. I needed to get away, and, (though I didn't tell Jason this) I wanted to buy some clothes! The only pair of 'summer' pants that fit are my capris and I needed at least one other thing to wear, particularly when we go to Chelan and laundry is not easy to do. I came home with three things that I'm quite happy with. Didn't hurt that everything was on clearance either!

For dinner, I made Stir-Fried Pork, Eggplant, and Onions with Garlic and Black Pepper for dinner. Long name for a fairly simple dish. I've never used eggplant before, but now I wonder why... Its basically tasteless (kinda like zucchini) and takes on the flavor of whatever you cook it in. Completely non-offensive. I shall use it again. Ethan, still not feeling up to his usual gluttonous self, only wanted rice. Therefore, I felt beholden to eat his portion and now regret eating as much as I did. Bleh

He's doing a lot better, though still not his regular self. I've been giving him half breastmilk, half milk in his morning/evening bottle and that seems to be helping a bit.

Gwennie has been growing by leaps and bounds. She can hold her chest off the ground, and is pretty close to figuring out how to roll over. She can get the lower half going, but still hasn't figured out how to move the arms. She talks and babbles all the time, and is generally very easy to please. She responds to just about anything with a huge smile. Lately, she's been grabbing at faces, and many times when I'm breastfeeding her, a hand will come flying up and land on my chin and she'll give me a little grin of mischief. She's gonna be trouble when she's grown up :D

We were woken by our dear son at 5am this morning. He had diarrhea :( Poor baby. I have to admit that I was an super-cranky Mommy and snapped at him when I went to get him (before I knew he had the diaper problem). I'm just so dead tired and my patience has worn away.

I've tried to keep fluids in him, but he wasn't interested. I tried all sorts of things, including breastmilk that I had pumped. He actually liked it, but still didn't want to drink much of anything. Luckily, he's still in fine spirits and full of mischief, so we know he must be ok :)

My Mom IM'd me and asked when my doctor appointment was and could she come over? Not being one to keep my Mom away, I said yes :) She arrived about 10 min before I left and she cleaned the house top to bottom (including putting away my laundry) before I got home an hour later.

The doctor, unfortunately, didn't have too much to tell me. She did say that she believes the incident on Tuesday was migraine related, and not stroke or symptom of something else. If it had been a stroke, I would have lost consciousness, or experienced more physical signs like paralysis. She recommended that I see a neurologist. She brought up a good point that the head bashing that occurred like 3 years ago when I slept walked could be causing these instances to be worse, which makes sense. Prior to that, I don't recall ever seeing auras or having random dizzy spells like I'm having now. I wish that she would have been able to diagnose and give me medications NOW, but I can also understand that a neurologist is a good step considering that the head injury could be part of it. Various doctors have been recommending that I do it for years. So, I will need to make an appointment here in the next couple weeks.

I say next couple weeks because next weekend is the church campout (which, if you know me, you'll know I'll need the entire week to prepare!) and then that Sunday, Jason leaves for a conference in San Francisco for 5 days! I will be staying with my Mom for at least some of the days. If the kids and I start wearing out our welcome, we'll come back here and I'll just drug myself to sleep every night... though Becki just called and told me that she'd be willing to stay with me. Awww, she's so sweet!

My eating habits have been dreadful the past couple days. With the stress and exhaustion, I've been not watching portions and eating a lot of crap. I'm scared to step on the scale! Maybe once I get a good nights sleep in I'll feel ready to start dealing with that again.

My Grammy sent me the sweetest little note the other day about being a Mom and making time for things that are important. Grammy, thank you! I do have to say though that for me cooking nice meals every night is not a burden, its a stress reliever (generally). Its my time to be away from the kids and do something I really love. But your points were well taken. Thank you for taking the time to 'grandparent' us, even when you're so far away.

I put up a few new videos on our site of the kids doing random things.

La di da... the fun continues. After posting last night, Jason arrived home and Ethan started crying. An hour previous, he had woken up and started crying, but quickly went back to sleep. This time, Jason wanted to go in there and say goodnight, and give him some teething tabs. We opened the door and were hit by an enormous stench. Ethan had vomited massively over every inch of mattress and himself. It was quite horrific really. Poor little thing was crying and shaking and very afraid :( He'd been acting sickish at my Mom's, but we thought it was teething. Guess not!

We hoped that after this ordeal he'd sleep in. Nope, we were up at 6 :( And he threw up his morning bottle too.

The whole day was hard. Ethan was still not feeling well... feverish and uber-cranky. It was quite horrendously hot and even good natured Gwennie was sticky and fussy. I didn't make dinner... Jason stopped on his way home and got us some food. Too hot and weary to think about turning on an oven.

Things didn't get better after dinner. Ethan threw up again (though not very much) and since we put him down an hour ago has been on and off again fussing. I'm so burned out on kids right now. Gwen acted as if she wanted to eat, but when she was on, she pulled off and she couldn't get happy. I had to just give her to Jason and run into the bathroom because I was crying too hard and was too exhausted and hot to have any more patience. I jumped in the shower to cool off and I feel slightly better now.

At last... Ethan stopped crying. I think he's finally down for the night. I'm heading to bed too. One has to hope that tomorrow will be a better day, right?

Last couple days have been tough. Bad headaches, dizzy spells and a general feeling of malaise. Top it all off with bad sleep and I'm not a happy Mommy. Ethan, and I think Gwen, are teething and its been rough.

Today, I went out to my Mom's and on the way I started having vision distortions. This particular type I've had before... Its blank spots in my vision (i.e. if I move my head, an object will disappear) along with a thick fuzzy line across what I could see. I stopped at McDonalds for lunch and when it was my turn to order, I couldn't speak. It was bizarre. I waited there and was thinking, "Speak already... say you want a chicken sandwich' but nothing would come out. I managed to squeak out the number of the meal I wanted, but had similar issues with ordering Ethans food. At one point I needed to say 'orange juice' and I couldn't say orange. I even pictured an orange in my head, and the color orange and even looked at the word orange, but my mouth wouldn't say it. When I tried to say 'Coke' I kept saying 'coach'. I said it like 5 times trying to get it right, but it never came out correctly. I think the poor order taker thought I was mentally impaired!

I basically cried the entire way to my Mom's because I was rather frightened and feeling so discouraged. Then, of course, I dropped my sandwich on my pants, which left two huge stains and made me cry harder.

Long story short, I left my Mom's feeling a wee bit better, but on the way home I made a doctors appointment. I don't like the idea that I couldn't speak. That really worries me. Along with the dizziness and vision problems, I need to get things looked at. I'm going in on Thursday to see what the deal is.

Jason's out late tonight at an M's game... He got to use a suite provided by one of his vendors, and it sounds like he's having a good time. Of course, this means I'm home alone and will probably be thoroughly scared by the time he gets home. Or maybe not. I'm so exhausted that I think I could lay down on the floor and fall dead asleep.

Please send prayers and kind thoughts our way. I'm so discouraged and feeling worn down right now. The daily grind is really taking its toll on me the last couple days.

Oh, yesterday Gwen was 3 months. Can't hardly believe it. Here's a pic I took of her and one of Ethan too, for good measure.

Some days, even if you do nearly nothing, end up draining you more than the busiest days.

Really didn't do much... I made some foccacia. The lovely, heavenly foccacia that I adore so much. Crisp and salty on the outside, tender and light on the inside and just about the best thing you could ever eat. I had to move it out of my presence because I swear I could down it all in like an hour, no problem.

I had some shoulder pain and a headache all day, which made everything more difficult than it had to be. Also, Gwendolyn decided that she was not going to sleep more than 5 minutes at a time. She did take her morning nap, but did not sleep between 12 and 9pm. Just a bit ago I got her to fall asleep, finally. Ethan was teething something fierce and was very grumpy.

We had a Spiced Pork Tenderloin for dinner, along with some garlicky spinach thrown together from frozen spinach and minced garlic. Also had some of the foccacia with it. Very good, but due to poor Ethans hurting mouth, he only nibbled on some bread. Poor little guy :(

I'd not made a pork tenderloin before, but was very impressed! Its as lean as chicken breast, but exceedingly tender. You cook it just to about medium so as to not dry it out, and it has a very pleasant porky flavor. Two come to a pack, so I think I may grill the other one tomorrow or maybe stir-fry it.

So it is settled! Lake Chelan, Sept 1-6. Yay! It should be fun. I was shocked to hear that no one had been over there since November, since the weather had been so nice this spring. Gosh, if it were my cabin, I'd be over there ALL the time and making all sorts of improvements. I think its important for us to go because we don't know how long it will be available, and I want Ethan and Gwen to build as many memories as possible (even if its only through pictures) of that place. It was so special to me growing up... Many fond memories of summers and winters there. It really does break my heart to think of Ethan and Gwen not having memories of that place. *sniff*

anyhow, I looked up a pic from Chelan last year. Ethan was 5 months.















Well, I surely have a lot of work to do tomorrow. The house really did not get cleaned at all (besides the kitchen) this weekend, so toys are everywhere, and it needs to be swept badly. I'm rather bummed that I didn't get lots of stuff done. For instance, today, I wanted to finish laundry, sweep, vacuum, mow the front yard, mow the back yard, wash my windows and install a few more baby latches. But, for various reasons (laziness in some part) none of those things got done. Its frustrating! All that gets done is the same boring stuff (sweep, vacuum, mop, dishwasher) and there is never time for the other stuff. Blah.

Today was pretty much a mad sprint from beginning to end. Woke up, made a bigish breakfast... Dutch baby (i.e. puff pancake), sausage, fruit. While I was making breakfast, I started making a double batch of chocolate chip cookies. Some for Dad's b-day, some just for us :) Right as I'm in the middle of doing cookies, Ethan goes down for nap, but screams forever, so we get him back up for a bit. As I'm finishing up the cookies (it made like 100 of them!), Ethan goes back down and stays down. Gwennie goes to sleep, I jump in the shower, I get out, Ethan gets up, Jason feeds him while I get dressed, I give Gwen a quick bath (and nearly drown her in the process, per usual), get her dressed and we're out the door. Off to get coffee at Brynnes coffee stand, then the library (3 more books, yeehaw), then to King Charley's, then to Mom's for Dad's b-day party.

Mom & Dad's old friends, Ardell and Connie, came by. I hadn't seen them in forever. I'm not sure if they were at the wedding, but if they weren't, it would have been nearly 10 years at least since the last time I saw them. They looked no different at all! Very nice and social people :) Its good to see my parents have friends outside family and church. Not that there is anything wrong with just family and church friends, but I think its good to have some people freshen the pot now and then, know what I mean?

Looks like we'll be going to Lake Chelan over Labor Day weekend. I'm glad we were able to finally get a date somewhat set in stone. Uncle Greg left a message for the Newmans early this week saying that if they didn't call us back, we'd assume it was ok for us to go Labor Day weekend. Haven't called back yet, so we think by tomorrow we can assume its good.

Grandpa & Grammy said that they will be back second week of August. I'm soooooo thrilled to hear this. I've missed them like crazy this trip, and I'm hoping they'll feel up to going to Chelan with us. Its always fun to have lots of people there, because then someone always is available to play games, go swimming, talk, etc with you. Besides, the more people that come, the less work it will be for us to watch Ethan. Just kidding... (not really) ;)

Nothing much happened today. Jason came home early, I went grocery shopping and that was about it! Oh, it rained, can you believe it? Was very nice to wake up to rain drops. Cleared the stale air from the warm days we'd been having.

We had cream of red bell pepper soup. Deeelish. I made some mods to it though. I threw in a few pieces of sun dried tomato for added color and flavor boost, and because I had forgotten to buy half/half I put in some leftover coconut milk I had in my fridge. The coconut milk added a not unpleasant sweetness to the soup and made it very creamy. Had with grilled bread drizzled with olive oil, salt & pepper.

I also threw together a pea salad for my Dad's b-day party tomorrow. Of course, he will not eat it, but others will :)

Oh, today Ethan is 16 months old. Wow.