April is a hard month for me, emotionally.

Three years ago, my great-Grandma Hazel passed away a week exactly before Gwen was born, on April 18th. Though her death was not unexpected, or even dreaded (she was so ready and willing to leave this world and be with Jesus), it was a sad day to see her joyful and caring spirit leave us.

One year ago, 5 days before Gwen's birthday, on April 20th, my Grandpa died. Long time readers will not need a recap on what a terrible and trying event that was for my family. The last time I saw him alert and awake was April 8th, which was Easter. I remember what he was wearing and the few words that we were able to pass between us. Ethan was very sick with pneumonia and so I didn't get to spend a lot of time with my Grandpa. I regret that. I am so happy that the kids remember their Poppa and speak of him often. Just a few nights ago, Gwen told me that she really missed her Poppa and wanted to see him. I reminded her that one day we'd see him in heaven, but she sorrowfully told me that she did not want to wait... she wanted to see him NOW. I told her she could ask Jesus to pass along a message to Poppa, but that didn't soothe her either. She wanted to play and talk with him and have him here. I couldn't agree with her more.