Why is it when you seem to be doing good for a couple days... your mood is up, life feels full of zest, you get smacked in the head with something that just brings you all the way down? You look around and think that there isn't anything oh so bad as all that, but its there and it just tears your heart into little pieces and scatters them on the wind.

Didn't do much. We went to the store after first nap and the kids were surprisingly well behaved, except for Ethan screaming out randomly then looking around to see who was paying attention. When he saw someone looking at him he'd give his really sneaky smile. Those of you have seen it know what I mean. He kinda looks at you sideways with this downright mischievous grin. He got great kicks out of yelling "DADA" at the top of his lungs, then basking in the smiles of everyone around him.

For dinner, I'm making Fragrant Beef Curry (my fav beef curry dish), rice, and iceberg lettuce wedges slathered in homemade blue cheese dressing. I've never made blue cheese dressing, but wow, this stuff I made tastes SO good. I can't wait to have it on the lettuce. Looks like there will be plenty extra, so maybe I'll make some spicy chicken wings tomorrow to dip in it.

I really want a vacation. I want to just go away for a few days, sleep in, lounge around, be in a different place, like the ocean, alone. No kids, no husband (though I love them all dearly). Just me. Sometimes, I do really think that I'm on the verge of loosing it. On that fence between just really stressed out and overwhelmed, teetering towards the straight-jacket. Frankly, being confined to a little white room doesn't sound so terribly bad some days :)

Think I'm gonna ask about upping my Zoloft dosage.