We've had a hard couple of days. We must be under a bad luck cloud or something.

Gwen has been waking up tons at night. Sometimes as often as every hour. I'm either sleeping on the couch to avoid waking J and E, or I'm stumbling around half asleep trying to get her calm. Part of the problem is that she's not napping during the day, so she eventually drops asleep at like 7 which is too earl, so she wakes up early.

Today I thought it would be fun to go grocery shopping for a few things and get out of the house. I wanted to go before the kids morning nap, so I got everyone dressed and out the door. Well, Ethan decides to do his 'ahhhh' thing the entire time, and is trying to throw things out of the cart. Gwen gets fussy. I forget half my items, even though I have a list. So, finally, at checkout we're waiting and I notice that Ethan has a VERY runny nose. Repeatedly I told myself, "Bring a tissue for Ethan, bring a tissue for Ethan", but I forgot. So I have nothing to wipe his nose with and its really bad. I end up using my sleeve (eew) and his shirt (eew). So now I'm covered in gross baby goo.

We make it out to the car and I treat myself to an espresso on the way home. We pull into the driveway and before I've even taken a single drink of it, it gets knocked over and floods my purse. This was pretty much the topper. I started bawling my head off as I carried the kids and groceries in, and didn't stop for about 3 hours. I just don't get why things have to be so hard, every single moment of every day. The first 3 months with two kids were ok, so why have the last two been such a hell. It almost feels like God is punishing me for something.

I made this very good stuffed bell pepper recipe for dinner, since I got 5 peppers for $5 which is like an awesome deal:

STUFFED BELL PEPPERS
6 medium bell peppers
1 pound ground beef
1/3 cup chopped onion
1 tablespoon fat
2 cups stewed tomatoes
2 cups cooked rice
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 cup grated Cheddar cheese
salt and pepper

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Cut off tops of bell peppers; remove seeds and membrane. Precook peppers in boiling, salted water for 5 minutes; drain. Sprinkle inside of peppers with salt. Brown meat and onion in hot fat. Add tomatoes, rice, Worcestershire sauce and salt and pepper to taste. Heat. Add cheese, stirring until cheese melts. Stuff peppers with this mixture. Stand upright in baking dish. Bake, uncovered, for about 25 minutes. Sprinkle tops with cheese. Serves 6.

The only changes I made were to use 4 peppers, use 1/2 lb of hamburger and instead of cheese on top at the end, I put some fresh breadcrumbs tossed with melted butter on top in the beginning, so the peppers would have a crispy top. These were really good!

I also made a pot of chili for tomorrow, as I'll be at Becki's in the afternoon and probably won't feel like dealing with dinner when I get back. I used this recipe. The only changes I make are to use a pot roast instead of sirloin (I either cut it into tiny bits myself, or, this time I used my food processor to grind it coarsely) and beer (Indian Pale Ale) instead of water. I cooked it for about 3 hours in the oven and its so so good.

Did you know that if your dish is lacking a certain 'meaty-ness', adding a shot of soy sauce often resolves the problem? I learned this trick somewhere, I can't recall where, but it works really well. Adds a background flavor that enhances the meaty taste of a dish. I've even used it in chicken dishes. Just be careful because its very salty.

By some miracle, both the children are sleeping, so I'm gonna try and get some reading in.